The first time I wore yoga pants in public, outside of class, my father came to take me to lunch. I had them paired with a T-shirt and the Levi’s jacket I had carefully adorned with a few choice patches and bling. My father was not pleased with the yoga pants. He said “nice girls” don’t wear those. I had to break the news that, if that disqualified me, I was not a “nice girl.”
That was a long time ago. Yoga pants, or leggings, are now a comfortable go-to that women of all shapes and sizes don for occasions ranging from relaxed to ritzy. Yet, they are still not without controversy. Some high schools have banned them. Earlier this year, a mother of four sons wrote an op-ed that was published in Notre Dame’s Observer, for which she referred to them as “blackly naked rear ends.” Feeling sorry for her sons, she asked the women of Notre Dame to stop wearing them. The response was overwhelming. The next day, thousands of “blackly naked rear ends” coated the campus.
As a yoga teacher, I wear leggings all the time. While I am fortunate that my work clothes are what most people reach for as comfort wear, I am usually just as eager to get out of them as others are to get out of their traditional office attire. I never thought I’d actually side with my dad on the great legging debate, but, as a mature woman, I feel self-conscious showing my far-from-perfect bits (and bits in general) in public. But the worst part is that actually practicing in yoga pants is incessantly frustrating.
I have a body that nothing “fitted” fits. But, elastic? Why, at the very least, can’t even elastic fit me? Why do I have to have a muffin top in spandex? The thighs are often too tight, slide down my body with varying degrees of speed, and super aggravatingly roll down my midriff nonstop while I practice. They get baggy at the knees and even the butt. Camel toe is a constant threat. Not to mention, they become like a lower body boa constrictor when I sweat. What start out as a nicely fitting pair begin gripping tighter with the moisture, straining across my rear, and about to burst as I bend, magnifying one consistent problem with yoga pants: their transparency.
I’ve found that one consistent problem with yoga pants is their transparency. Mine, yours, everyone’s. We bend over and, in varying degrees, are showing our booties. Some of us try to mitigate this with underwear, some seem oblivious, and some say, “Who Cares?” Those poor boys? Oh right, the boys…
There was an episode of Friends featuring a guy Phoebe was dating who always wore gym shorts sans underwear – and “showing brain.” Thank goodness that really doesn’t happen much. One of my private clients reported that he had gone to a naked yoga class while on vacation. While that may be the ultimate resolution to the problem of underperforming yoga pants, I DO NOT EVER WANT TO PRACTICE NAKED, NOR DO I EVER WANT TO SEE A.N.Y.O.N.E. ELSE DO THEIR PRACTICE NAKED. Please, keep your pants on.
