Mindful Parenting: Choosing Which Wolf to Feed

What's your spirit animal?

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Once upon a time, there was a mommy and her two kiddos, sitting around talking about Spirit Animals. “If you were an animal, what would you be,” we asked each other. (Who knew this would become a “thing” in our household?

If I’m being honest, we’ve known from the day our youngest was born, our son, that he came into this world to make us laugh. Early in his life, he was nicknamed Funky Monkey by my dad, based on how he loved to hop around and make funny sounds, which always made us burst out in laughter. He stays true to his character on most days. (We’ll see how long it lasts as we emerge into the teenage years!)

Our oldest, a girl, well… she’s always wanted to be seen as a unique, artistic, funny, and admittedly, a little defiant individual. At age eight, her favorite quote was, “I’m not special, I’m a limited edition.” After some brainstorming, we laughingly decided Goofy Goat was an appropriate namesake for her.  

When the kids asked me what I was, I sat for a moment, then knowingly said, “Aaaaah, Wise Wolf… yes, that is me!” Both kiddos took one look at me, then each other, before bursting into laughter. “What??!” I said …. “you don’t agree?” My daughter put her hand on my shoulder and stated, “Mom, you’re more like a Bossy Buffalo!” She was 10 years old at the time.

Illustration Courtesy of J.Y. WOOLLY
Illustration Courtesy of J.Y. WOOLLY

Since that moment, different references to our animal characters have arisen, and we often call each other out when our alter egos come to the table. When our daughter was in third grade, she even wrote a poem and shared it with me. It has stuck with me all these years – and is framed as a reminder for me to choose Wise Wolf over Bossy Buffalo. I share it here, as I will continue to share tales from the perspective of Wise Wolf and Bossy Buffalo in this column. They are like my yin and yang, and both beautiful teachers.

Next to the framed poem from my daughter, I have a copy of a Cherokee proverb, which, incidentally, is part of my genetic heritage.  

Carly’s (Goofy Goat’s) 3rd Grade Poem: 

“Bossy, Bossy, Buffalo,
Please stop with the huff and puffalos.
Why must you give demands, demands?
All I hear are commands, commands.
Please just stop and listen to me.
Accept who I am, and let me be.
I love you Mom, so much, you know,
You don’t have to be a Bossy, Bossy Buffalo.”

Bossy Buffalo’s Response to Goofy Goat:

“Goofy, Goofy, Little Goat,
Please just stop and take a note.
I’m not trying to change who you are.
I want you to grow and be a star,
But when you get attached to your screens,
You get zombie brain and I want to scream.
I don’t feel it’s very good for you 
When you can’t tell your mushy brain what to do.”

There Is A Battle of Two Wolves Inside All of Us:

“One is evil.
It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies, inferiority, and ego.
The other is good.
It is joy, peace, love, hoe, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth.
The wolf that wins?? The one you feed.”

I try to do the best I can to remember what I choose to feed. Progress over perfection is the key lesson that Wise Wolf reminds herself daily.

Picture of Christina Roberts Enneking

Christina Roberts Enneking

Christina has been practicing yoga for over three decades, drawn to the practice as a release from stress and a way to more deeply integrate the body, mind, and spirit. A certified 500-hour master yoga instructor and reiki practitioner, Christina has studied and practiced with many master teachers across the globe and her style is a fun-loving blend of Vinyasa Flow, Qigong, and energy work. Her specialty is meeting people where they are and offering practices that facilitate deeper growth, sweeter stability, and genuine joy. In addition to leading service-based yoga retreats, helping to deliver solar light to people living off the power grid, Christina facilitates learning workshops at multiple companies in Silicon Valley, focusing on brain-based leadership techniques for maximizing personal effectiveness and gaining mastery, autonomy, and purpose in life.

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