Move through the pain. The only way to move past is through. If you’re going through hell, keep going. I’ve heard these wise bits of knowledge for years, but I always thought, “What if I get stuck along the way? What if the pain is so great that it envelops and overwhelms me, suffocates and swallows me, engulfing me into a black hole of despair, or worse yet, insanity?”

Anxiety is like that. It can make a person feel like her heart is in a vise: tight and constricted.  Since I was twelve, I have been trying to manage my own anxiety and depression; first journaling and drawing, then turning to yoga and meditation into my twenties, managing its unexpected attacks. The other day, I had a panic attack in the car. I knew it was coming on because as I started to think of all the things I had to do, my heart began rapidly pulsing, thoughts began to swirl, and I couldn’t get a hold of any of them. My breath rate increased, my mind went blank, and I couldn’t speak – even if I wanted to. So, I stopped. I pulled over and felt my body. I noticed my heartbeat, as well as my lungs expanding with each inhale, and softening with each exhale. I felt my belly, let go of any expectations, and focused on now. Now, now, now. Not five seconds later, not yesterday, not next month – now. As my mind started to slow down from its rotor amusement park cyclone ride, I felt calmer, slower, back in my body again, noticing the world around me, and taking in the colors of my environment. I was ready to re-enter the world, the road, and life.

When it happens though, it’s downright scary. One negative thought feeds another, like an ouroboros or snake eating its own tail. The thoughts become so overwhelming, I feel utterly paralyzed. The breathing and body consciousness helps, but sometimes it takes several minutes to calm down; it’s a constant practice in patience, awareness, and self-love. To quote a recent episode of Queer Eye I watched on Netflix, “Self-love and self-care in this world is a rebellious act.” Somehow in the world of working long hours and commuting, to take care of myself is often perceived as indulgent. Not too long ago, I had a bad cough, so I went home sick. On the way out, a colleague of mine commented that he had a similar cough for two weeks but just “dealt with it.” Nevertheless, I’m going to slow down or stop if I need to, find my inner rebel, and take the time to check in and breathe. I can do it, and so can you – we’re in this together.

So, as the holidays approach, festive lights go up, the smell of pine, sugar cookies, and anticipation fills the air, I will be doing this more and more. Stop, breathe, feel. I promise to take time for myself to find the simplicity and intimacy in the moment with my breath – and then return to the world again and again.

Try these four simple steps the next time you are feeling anxious:

1. Feel your lungs expand with each inhale and soften with each exhale. 
2. Feel your belly. 
3. Let go of any expectations. 
4. Focus on right now.