Jennifer Prugh started a series the other week on bird poses. It was based on a Chinese proverb of letting a tree grow in your heart so that the bird can land. I didn’t quite grasp the proverb but bird poses are awesome so, what’s not to love?
Crow – fun!!
Crane – #goals
Pigeon – so delicious…
Then, she said a dreaded word. Peacock (Mayūrāsana). Ugh…
There are some poses that are stunningly beautiful, even if you just watch with envy while others gracefully get into them. Peacock pose is not one of them. I don’t find it stunning or beautiful.
But here we are. She’s talking us through peacock pose and I’m just watching her. I’m sure there’s a look of pure disgust on my face as dialogue in my head rambles on. Why would she torture us with this? What does it even do? I’m supposed to listen to my body, my body wants more crow. I’ll do that instead… Or meditate… That must be better for the mind than this. Besides, peacock looks like it strains the wrists. I need my wrists for work. Do I even need to finish the rest of this class? I could log off now and go through my emails.
Oh, avoidance. It’s often soaked with judgement and disguised as a different and “better” plan.
Observing the patterns within myself has been critical to discerning which thoughts are guiding me in the right direction, and which are avoidant tactics. Part of the practice is knowing that I can’t cherry pick which poses to do and sit out for the rest. It’s like life that way, sometimes you have to lean into things you’d rather not.
So, there I went. I leaned in. Actually, I did “the dive” into peacock. I let all curmudgeonous thoughts continue on. First attempt, I lifted one leg off the floor and felt the clumsy and discombobulated motion. Ugh, I hate peacock! But I didn’t break my wrists. I didn’t fall on my face. I tried it. That was a success that day.
Two days later, I’m in her class again. She’s not done. Birds apparently still needed to land in the tree in our hearts. Why? Why does the bird need to land? Why can’t the tree be a tree pose? I’m still confused but the curmudgeonous bunch in my head have gotten quieter. And in the quietness of trying the pose again, I get one leg off the floor. I’m less clumsy. My second leg makes its way off. Flight. Even for a mere moment. It feels beautiful. No longer buying into the naysayers in my mind, I embrace this awesome feeling with pure giddiness. And as I came back down, I couldn’t help but think, that’s a kind of awesome pose. Well, what do you know?
I couldn’t help but wonder, where might a little more leaning in perhaps change another perspective?