This is going to surprise a lot of people who know me, but I am not a naturally-optimistic person. My innate tendencies lie in a different direction: I’m very good at planning for the worst-possible scenario, and I’m even better at identifying why a particular idea isn’t going to work and listing every single reason why it’s doomed to fail. No one should ever ask me, “What’s the worst that could happen?” because I will tell you, in excruciating detail, just how terrible things might get.
Now, being able to imagine the worst outcome and plan accordingly is an adaptive skill, and there are times it has served me well, but such practicality can easily veer into pessimism, moving from simply envisioning the worst to expecting it. Especially in times of uncertainty, it’s so easy to become consumed by the negative – fixated on what I don’t like, as well as feeling as if everything is going wrong, I’m powerless to fix it, and doomed to simply endure the misery I’m unable to avoid. This is not the head space I want to live in, and, thankfully, my mind is one of the very few things in life I can change. One especially-effective way to counteract negativity is to focus on cultivating gratitude.
Gratitude is exceptionally powerful, and as Breathe Together Online contributor and Certified Leadership Coach Mary Mosham, M.S., writes, “Gratitude has the power to exponentially transform our physical health and well-being.” Research suggests that practicing gratitude can reduce depression, improve sleep, decrease painful symptoms of chronic illnesses, increase our emotional well-being, and strengthen relationships.
Some people may naturally find it easier to be grateful than others, and, according to the Greater Good Science Center at U.C. Berkeley, gratitude is certainly influenced by genetics, brain structure, early-life experiences, and each person’s unique personality. Because gratitude can be cultivated, however, you don’t have to be born a naturally-optimistic or “glass half-full” person in order to experience it. Through intentional action, you can rewire your brain, eventually making gratitude habitual. And, just like any habit, it’s a practice that becomes easier the more we do it. Here are five ways to cultivate gratitude in your life:
- Keep a gratitude journal. There are numerous health benefits to be gained from journaling, and writing down things you’re thankful for is particularly good for your mental and physical health. You can write in a blank journal or use themed journals that incorporate daily prompts, inspiring quotes, or verses from religious texts.
- Reach out! While it’s helpful to write down the things you’re thankful for, it’s also important to express your gratitude to others. According to psychologists, saying “thank you” not only helps you focus on something positive while practicing the art of receiving, it also actually benefits the person you’re thanking, allowing them to appreciate being needed, improving their self-esteem, and motivating them to “pay it forward” and provide help to others. This week, try to reach out to at least three people and thank them for something they’ve done for you or something you appreciate about them. It’s a win-win for you both!
- Speak your gratitude out loud, every day. Gratitude, like every other habit, doesn’t develop overnight. It takes time and focused effort, and sometimes we may not feel grateful, which can make it difficult to think of things we appreciate. One of the tenets of cognitive behavioral therapy is that we can use our actions to change our thoughts and feelings, and vice versa. In order to feel more grateful, make an effort to think about three things you’re thankful for every day, and then say them out loud. You can do this any time during the day, although doing it at the same time might help it become more habitual. Our brains process the things we say out loud differently than how they process inner monologues, and turning thoughts into speech helps us slow down, direct our attention, and engage different parts of our brains. You can say three things you’re grateful for while walking your dog, having dinner with your family, tucking your kids into bed, taking a shower, drinking your morning coffee…there’s no wrong time to be grateful.
- Create a gratitude jar. Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, it’s just impossible to come up with things you’re thankful for. We’ve all been there, but we don’t have to go there in the future. We can be proactive and create a gratitude jar. To do this, simply write down things you’re grateful for on slips of paper, and place them in a jar or bowl. Then, when you’re having trouble thinking of things you appreciate, draw a piece of paper and reflect on whatever you wrote. You can write down things you’re thankful for in general, (such as pets, family, friends, home, health, etc.), or you can write down specific events that prompted gratitude, such as when a stranger helped you change a tire, a family member helped you financially, or a friend gave you an especially meaningful compliment. Our brains sometimes need a little help remembering the good, especially when we’re stressed, and a gratitude jar is a great way to do that.
- Write a “thank you” letter to yourself. Sometimes the person most in need of your gratitude is you. If you’re like me, you may be quick to criticize yourself but very slow to offer praise and appreciation. Take some time this week and write a letter to yourself, thanking yourself for all you’ve overcome, all you’ve accomplished, all you’ve learned, and all you’ve endured. Highlight things you appreciate about yourself. You can start with, “Dear Self,” or “Dear (insert your name).” Sometimes it’s easier to write nice things about yourself when you view yourself as another person, using preferred pronouns such as “he/she/they” or your name rather than “I.” You may feel a little silly getting started, but this is incredibly powerful, so make sure you give yourself time to process whatever comes up during this activity.
May we all grow our gratitude and become healthier and happier, creating the change we wish to see in the world.
2 replies on “5 Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in Your Daily Life”
Wow ! It is so interesting to read . Thank you Katie for sharing .
Thank you, Katie for sharing your gift with the Breathe Together community and for this timely reminder!