When asked what is most important, the vast majority (myself included) will say family, friends, and/or health comes first. But, when taking an honest look at how we live our lives, these values don’t always get as much attention as we’d like. Many of us spend the majority of our waking hours at work, where we might find ourselves thinking about all of the things we could be doing instead: being with family and friends, training, resting, etc. Yet, when we are finally not working and doing those very things we dream of, we catch ourselves thinking about (or even doing) work. The pursuit of the proverbial work-life balance is difficult to put into practice. The good news is that once we become aware of how we live our lives, in contrast to how we want to live our lives, the work-life balance we dream of becomes achievable.
In my own life, what has been beneficial for me is first identifying the most important areas, or core values of my life. Here’s what I discovered:
- Inner and outer wellbeing: I regularly practice yoga, meditation, and breathwork. I eat healthy, move a lot, and sleep well. I take several courses that inspire me each year. All in all, I do things that make me feel good and are good for me.
- Family and friends: For me, prioritizing family means being present – enjoying meals together, sharing our happy moments, experiences, problems, etc., taking time out of our days to go out and experience life together.
- Personal and professional growth and career: I love what I do: I teach yoga. I also see myself as a life-long learner and spend many hours of my week teaching, prepping, reading, transporting from one studio/gym to another. I stay up-to-date with new learnings and stay inspired, which allows me to serve my students and community the best way I can.
After identifying your own core values, finding the balance between work and life becomes easier. It becomes about deciding to live life in congruence with those values, focusing on what matters most and doing less of everything else. Personally, it’s become easier to notice when I’m out of balance. I notice when I’m feeling stressed out, too tired, or frustrated. These are signs that I’m not living in congruence with my core values.
To identify your own values, try these simple steps:
- Brainstorm: Ask yourself: What are the most important things in my life? List between five and 10 things.
- Prioritize: Organize your list in order of importance with the most important at the top and the least important at the bottom.
- Identify the feeling: For each item on your list, ask yourself: What feelings does this give me? For instance, money offers me security and stability; exercise gives me a sense of well-being. These feelings are your core values.
- Reprioritize: Take a closer look, and with the feelings you came up with, make a new and final list of your top three to five core values and what they mean to you.
- Decide: Take a good, honest look at how you spend your time, both on and off the clock: How do you feel about it? Is it congruent with your core values? Using your core value, decide what you’ll be doing less of and what you will decidedly focus more on from now on.
Work-life balance is a process, and it changes with time and life circumstances. When imbalances happen (and they will happen), come back to your core values. Assess if your core values have changed and you need to rediscover where you are at in your life, or if you simply need to read just your commitments to stay congruent with what matters most to you.
Wishing we were somewhere else than where we are does not serve us in any way. Undoubtedly, deciding to live a life in alignment with what is most important to you will allow you to be present where you are. How the balance tilts (toward the work or life side) is up to you. Ultimately, finding balance starts with knowing you always have a choice – and staying honest about those choices.
