Rest and wait. These words swirl like a dual-flavored, soft-serve ice cream cone, intertwined in perfect harmony. As we continue to wade through uncertain times brought about by COVID-19, I am reminded to not fight, but rather succumb to, the flow of what is in front of me with love and wonder. What I have also found is that truth is not always a flash of rainbow sprinkles sitting atop a dual-flavored ice cream cone. Present awareness can show up as thoughts of fear and worry. Endless spirals of old thought patterns emerge and can hold my spirit hostage. One moment I can be full of hope, while others, pure helplessness.

During this roller coaster of emotions, I have taken to writing much more, to better see these thoughts, and, like a good friend, ask what they may be offering without shame or judgment. My journal and I are close confidants these days. Here is an excerpt in a letter I wrote to me, from love, after feelings of overwhelm started to swallow my days:

“Dearest Child, 
I don’t need anything from you, and I don’t need you to be anyone other than who you are right now, in this moment. I don’t need you to be strong or feeling wise. I am simply here to be with you. I’m right here.
I’ve got you.
I love you.
I’m not going anywhere.
I am here to listen, to accept, and to love no matter what.”

With love by my side, and when spiraling thoughts start to flurry, I ask my mind, “Okay, what are you trying to tell me?” Fear and worry are messengers. Is there danger lurking ahead, or is my mind concocting a false sense of reality? Can I accept what is, and decide what to do – or not to do – in this moment?

Recently, a little three-step process emerged in my brain as a formula for what to do when it’s time to ask what my life experiences have to teach me:

• Step One: Wonder
• Step Two: Wait
• Step Three: Integrate

Looking at them deeper, here is insight for why they work:

Step One: Wonder 

This step invokes the power of curiosity. It is an expansive state of mind that wonders what is possible when no limitations are present or when the narrative of “I can’t” is replaced by “Why not?!” For more on this topic, check out this incredible TED Talk titled “How we Experience Awe and Why It Matters,” masterfully orated by neuroscientist Beau Lotto. 

Step Two: Wait

When we’re quiet enough to listen to our own inner guidance, we can hear what wisdom sounds like. Ask, “What’s most true for me in this moment?” – then wait for the guidance. Meditation has been wonderful for this, along with nature walks, journaling, or any quiet time set aside to simply listen. Deeply listen. For a wonderful book on this topic and ways to deepen your listening practice, check out Mark Nepo’s “Seven Thousand Ways to Listen.” 

Step Three: Integrate

Integration provides an opportunity to put the actions in motion that stem from a deeper state of conscious awareness. Our words and actions stem from conscious thoughts, which are aligned with a sense of greater good and mentality of what is possible. Positive changes stem from conscious and compassionate intention. I have been working with these steps in my own life and with coaching clients. I have noticed the liberating power of the insights generated by myself and others. I also know my compassionate partner, Love, is right with me, walking this path by my side. As I take moments to pause, seek clarity, ease into compassion, and listen long enough to decide which action or inaction are most wise, I can define my present state of awareness and pick a trajectory of motion.

So, I sit and rest. I wonder. I wait. I integrate actions with heartfelt awareness. As I do, I remember I am not alone. Love walks with me, reiterating nothing is wrong with how I feel. I am fully supported. I am loved. And, so are you. Together, we walk, we learn, we love.